My heart overflowed with so many emotions during these last days that calling it an amazing week is a meager misnomer. But that seems to be the best I can come up with right now.
These days have been packed with activity, surging with contradictory and sometimes concurrent emotions. Smiling in pain. Crying in hope. Rejoicing in grief. Weeping in gratitude.
Much of this isn’t my story to share. And the whole story begins long before this weekend. But perhaps I can communicate a glimpse of the story by looking backward in my rearview mirror.
This afternoon I began what promises to be an exciting spiritual journey, pressing the pause button on a hectic and highly emotional week. What an adventure!
This morning and last evening I spent some time getting to know my newest grandson and helping his big brother become better acquainted with him. What blessing!
Also this morning and yesterday afternoon, I visited a dear friend who’s in the hospital and suffering horrendous pain. What heartache!
On Monday afternoon I was interviewed by David Murray and Tim Challies for their Connected Kingdom podcast, regarding my book on early infant loss, Little One Lost. The podcast will be posted next Tuesday. I believe I’ll listen to it before posting links. I felt it went well, but as usual after an interview I found myself thinking later, “Why did I say that?” and “Why didn’t I say that?” What an exercise in humility!
I prepared for the interview by sharing lunch and prayer with a dear friend, whose husband helped me with some technological aspects of the upcoming podcast. It was probably our last prayer time together for months, perhaps years, since she’ll soon be moving out of state. Sad day.
Sunday evening’s message was astounding. I wept aloud. Gratitude to God for finally hearing the truth so clearly spoken overwhelmed me, as well as a host of other emotions I have yet to clearly identify.
On Sunday afternoon, my nine-months pregnant daughter and her family participated with me in A Walk to Remember to raise awareness of infant loss. It was a meaningful and emotional experience. I have yet to clearly identify all my emotions.
Sunday morning’s sermon showed me my need to become a fragrance for Christ. How convicting!
Saturday evening we cared for #4 grandson. What larks!
Saturday noon we shared lunch with our two daughters and one’s friend. What fun!
Saturday morning I signed copies of Little One Lost at The Sanctuary Coffeehouse and Christian Bookstore. A steady stream of people stopped by my table and I sold several books. More important, I had some important conversations that blew me away. Amazed at God’s equipping grace!
On Friday evening we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows in the fireplace, sharing the food and fun times with some cool kids. We also shared brief, but wonderful fellowship with their neat parents. So full of gratitude for God’s grace and peace!
Perhaps this is all too vague to mean anything to anyone but me. Maybe it reads like a laundry list. But my heart has overflowed with so many and such strong emotions this last week that I should feel myself exploding like a fireworks finale.
Instead, I stand in slack-jawed amazement at the marvelous, equipping grace of my Lord. I fall flat in worship. I seek his face. His peace fills my soul.
I’m going to go hold that grandbaby!
Grace and peace.